This week’s episode from Friday Night SmackDown was instantly made to feel special by way of Michael Cole and Pat McAfee making special appearances right off the top. They did so from a special podium set up near the ring, where they introduced us to the kickoff of Royal Rumble weekend.
Pretty cool.
They ended up throwing it to Joe Tessitore, who was in the ring to have a chat with Kevin Owens in the interest of fairness. They gave WWE Champion Cody Rhodes this treatment last week, why not do the same for his next challenger?
Owens was instantly defensive, both of Tessitore’s gesture and the roster talking around the possibility that he’ll win the title at Royal Rumble. He told the broadcaster to shove it before grabbing the winged eagle championship off the hook and trying to exit stage left.
That’s when CM Punk’s music hit.
A very loud chant for him getting in the ring as the music faded away, and an equally loud annoyed facial expression from KO, gave way to a “holy shit” chant. WWE really has done a fantastic job of making meetings like this one feel like a big deal.
Punk offered up two apologies — for interrupting him and for inferring that he thinks Rhodes will beat him to retain the title. That said, when — not if — he wins the Royal Rumble, the main event of WrestleMania could very well be Owens vs. Punk. He showed up here to let him know, man-to-man, that victory wouldn’t last long.
Owens welcomed as much, because the idea of beating Punk’s ass is tasty. But the thought of Punk never accomplishing his dream may be even greater. Punk going to his grave “a miserable failure” sounds lovely to him.
So he eventually settled on hoping Punk doesn’t win the Rumble.
Punk’s response was to point out all the things he hasn’t done but Owens has — lose five title matches at Royal Rumble, lose to Logan Paul, manipulate his friend into success for himself. He may never headline WrestleMania, sure, but he can kick Owens’ ass right here tonight!
Naturally, Owens walked away from this challenge. It was a solid opening segment, one that worked for the story but also set up a possible feud between these two no matter the outcome of this weekend’s matches.
Damian Priest is here on SmackDown and he wanted to make clear he’s done a lot on Monday Night Raw but now it’s time to remake himself on Friday Night SmackDown. That means winning championships and that will start by throwing a lot of people over the top rope at Royal Rumble.
Cue Jacob Fatu.
He put Priest over a bit before saying “you can get your hair braided all you want but don’t ever get it twisted.”
I love this guy.
He’s all gas, no brakes, and now that he’s off the chain and unleashed he’s here to tell everyone to either lay down or they’ll beat your ass down. The way he sees it, he and Tama Tonga are running SmackDown now.
“Yaddamean, Fatu!”
With every week it becomes clearer this man is an absolute star. Priest responded by asking why they’re still talking, superkicking Tonga, and circling around. Yet another “holy shit” chant for yet another hype face-to-face meeting between Fatu and literally anyone.
LA Knight showed up to even the odds once the fighting got underway and they set up a tag team match off that.
Later in the evening, Santos Escobar tried to recruit Priest, who wanted nothing to do with it. Thankfully, though, we got some R-Truth comedy relief on top of it all.
The main event tag match wasn’t exactly a barnburner but they had the crowd with what they were doing. Ultimately, Priest pinned Tonga after the South of Heaven but the showed went to credits only after Fatu laid Damian out with the moonsault. The crowd chanted for one more as the show faded out.
All the rest
- The Miz was pissed off about Andrade not playing nice with him last week and while venting about as much to SmackDown GM Nick Aldis, the man himself confronted him and challenged him to a match. It was made for later in the night. It was one of Miz’s better TV matches in some time and saw Andrade win via pinfall.
- It’s worth pointing out that while Jimmy Uso was making his entrance, United States Champion Shinsuke Nakamura was in the background watching him. We’ll see if that goes anywhere. Meanwhile, Carmelo Hayes got himself a big pop saying he won’t miss because his name isn’t Tyrese Haliburton, who was in attendance. He, of course, did miss when Jimmy countered ‘Melo and used the old fist full of tights to help him score a quick pinfall victory. This was fine for what it was.
- Chelsea Green and Michin had a decent match for the United States championship, one that saw the champion retain thanks to her top agent in the Secret Hervice. Just after Michin hit Eat Defeat, Piper Niven was there to pull her out of the ring. By the time Michin got to her, Green had a kendo stick and forced a disqualification by using it in plain view of the referee. B-Fab got involved on behalf of Michin but it was too little, too late. It might be time to move on from this one.
- The Motor City Machine Guns and Los Garza couldn’t get along, leading to Angel & Berto walking out. Despite this, Shelley & Sabin managed to win what was a very good TV match. They used this as promotion for the 2-out-of-3 Falls bout at Royal Rumble, and there’s every reason to think it will be just as fantastic as this. Meanwhile, Pretty Deadly and DIY can’t get along either while Tama Tonga has his eyes on the tag team titles.
- Naomi defeated Liv Morgan in their singles match but she got one over on her by launching a post-match attack alongside Raquel Rodriguez. The idea seems to be to keep this issue going so they can feud over the women’s tag team titles.
- Zelina Vega bumped into Women’s Champion Tiffany Stratton and teased winning the Royal Rumble to challenge for her title. The champ was given an in-ring interview with McAfee and Cole, and they hardly got into it at all before Candice LeRae interrupted to tell her she’s entered the Royal Rumble and she’ll be making Tiffy regret ever stabbing Nia Jax in the back. Stratton walked her down before ducking at the last minute to avoid a sneak attack from Jax, who managed to get the better of her anyway. Perhaps this thing isn’t done just yet?
These three hour SmackDowns are just a bit much for my tastes.
C+
Your turn.
