Selena Gomez ‘Lied’ About Being Unfazed by Body Shamers, Recalls ‘Crying My Eyes Out’ from Criticism

“I lied — I would go online and I would post a picture of myself and I would say, ‘It doesn’t matter,'” the singer and actress said

Selena Gomez is being honest with fans by saying she was unable to ignore online criticism about her body, even though she made it seem like she was unaffected by it.

While appearing on the latest episode of Apple TV+’s documentary series Dear …, Gomez, 31, reflected on the body-shaming comments she’s received because of her fluctuating weight, which she said she’s struggled with while living with lupus.

“My weight would constantly fluctuate because I would be on certain medications. And obviously, people just ran with it,” she said. “It was like they couldn’t wait to find a thing to bring me down. I was being shamed for gaining weight because of my lupus.”

The Only Murders in the Building star admitted that although she has typically used her platform to show others that she’s unfazed by criticism, it actually left her in tears when she was alone.

“I lied. I would go online and I would post a picture of myself and I would say, ‘It doesn’t matter. I’m not accepting what you’re saying,'” Gomez said. “All the while, being in the room posting and crying my eyes out because nobody deserves to hear those things.”

“Though I was posting these things saying it doesn’t bother me, because I didn’t want it to bother other people who are experiencing the same thing, getting shamed for what they look like, who they are, who they love,” she added. “I just think it’s so unfair. I don’t think that anybody deserves to feel less than.”

The singer and actress told fans during a TikTok livestream that taking her lupus medication often causes her to gain weight and vice versa.

“[When I’m taking it, I] tend to hold a lot of water weight, and that happens very normally. When I’m off of it, I tend to lose weight,” said Gomez on the video-sharing platform. “I just wanted to say and encourage anyone out there who feels any sort of shame for exactly what they’re going through, and no one knows the real story.”

The “Lose You to Love Me” singer continued, “I just want people to know that you’re beautiful, and you’re wonderful. Yeah, we have days where maybe we feel like s—, but I would rather be healthy and take care of myself. My medications are important, and I believe that they’re what helps me.”

Gomez then spoke further about her experience with body image. “Not a model, never will be. And I think they’re awesome, mind you. I’m just definitely not that,” she added. “I just wanted to tell you I love you guys, and thanks for supporting me and understanding. And if not, go away, ’cause honestly I don’t believe in shaming people for [their bodies] or anything.”