Selena Gomez Isn’t Sure She’ll Ever Go on Tour Again: ‘It Is Very Emotionally Draining for Me’

Selena Gomez for TIME. PHOTO: ELLIOT & ERICK JIMéNEZ FOR TIME

Though Selena Gomez hasn’t completely written off hitting the road, it’s not likely to happen in the near future.

In a cover story interview with TIME, the Rare Beauty founder revealed her thoughts about touring again.

“Nothing makes me happier than 90 minutes of being with my fans and just celebrating together,” Gomez told the outlet, explaining why she feels “50/50” on the prospect.

“It is very emotionally draining for me. And then you realize you’re just surrounded by a bunch of people that you’re paying,” Gomez, 31, added.

(She last toured in 2016 in support of her album Revival, though she pulled out and revealed she was struggling with anxiety and depression as a side effect from lupus.)

Selena Gomez performs on her Revival Tour in Los Angeles in July 2016. MICHAEL TRAN/WIREIMAGE

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Gomez — who has been open about her mental health in the past — further explained that she’s more deliberate about how, and with whom, she spends her time.

“It’s a cliché, but girls are mean,” she said. “It’s a very weird competition, being in the cool girls area—and then I’m just kind of like, there. I don’t know where I’m meant to belong.”

Gomez added of her best friends — among them a real estate agent: “I love having levelheaded people around that couldn’t give two f—s about what I do.”

Selena Gomez for TIME. ELLIOT & ERICK JIMéNEZ FOR TIME

Still, Gomez has days where she feels lonely — but she’s a big proponent of feeling your feelings.

“It’s hard,” she said. “You could be in a crowd of people and still feel alone. I still deal with that.”

While touring may not be in the near future for Gomez, the singer and actress has kept busy with several projects. Earlier this month, she attended the Cannes Film Festival to promote her new film Emilia Pérez.

Selena Gomez for TIME. ELLIOT & ERICK JIMéNEZ FOR TIME

In Emilia Pérez, Gomez plays the wife of feared drug cartel leader Manitas (played by Spanish actress Karla Sofía Gascón) who seeks out lawyer Rita (Saldaña) to help him secretly complete a sex change operation to become a woman as he approaches retirement from the business.

In March, Gomez confirmed that filming was underway for the hit Hulu series Only Murders in the Building, where she stars alongside Steve Martin and Martin Short. Meanwhile, fans are also awaiting the arrival of the long-speculated Wizards of Waverly Place revival, which will see Gomez reprise her role as Alex Russo, the family wizard who plays by her own rules. 

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Selena Gomez for TIME. ELLIOT & ERICK JIMéNEZ FOR TIME

When she’s not working, she’s spending time with boyfriend Benny Blanco — and in her cover story interview, she opened up about sharing their relationship with the public.

“I know what people can do to people I love,” she told the publication. “My own fans, who I adore and feel like have shaped who I am, will say the most hurtful things to me about how I live my life. But he has the strength in him that none of that noise fazes him.”

Gomez continued: “It’s really impressive, and I just cherish every moment with him. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that he’s not going anywhere any time soon.”